Coleman’s Bed

Make a nesting now, a place to which
the birds can come, think of Kevin’s
prayerful palm holding the blackbird’s egg
and be the one, looking out from this place
who warms interior forms into light.
Feel the way the cliff at your back
gives shelter to your outward view
and then bring in from those horizons
all discordant elements that seek a home.

Be taught now, among the trees and rocks,
how the discarded is woven into shelter,
learn the way things hidden and unspoken
slowly proclaim their voice in the world.
Find that far inward symmetry
to all outward appearances, apprentice
yourself to yourself, begin to welcome back
all you sent away, be a new annunciation,
make yourself a door through which
to be hospitable, even to the stranger in you.

See with every turning day,
how each season makes a child
of you again, wants you to become
a seeker after rainfall and birdsong,
watch now, how it weathers you
to a testing in the tried and true,
admonishes you with each falling leaf,
to be courageous, to be something
that has come through, to be the last thing
you want to see before you leave the world.

Above all, be alone with it all,
a hiving off, a corner of silence
amidst the noise, refuse to talk,
even to yourself, and stay in this place
until the current of the story
is strong enough to float you out.

Ghost then, to where others
in this place have come before,
under the hazel, by the ruined chapel,
below the cave where Coleman slept,
become the source that makes
the river flow, and then the sea
beyond. Live in this place
as you were meant to and then,
surprised by your abilities,
become the ancestor of it all,
the quiet, robust and blessed Saint
that your future happiness
will always remember.

- David Whyte
from River Flow: New & Selected Poems 1984-2007
©2006 Many Rivers Press

It’s been awhile since I’ve added a new post to this blog. I’ve been busy ‘getting ready to go’. Which means that I’ve been making lists and crossing off to-dos and buying things that I ‘need’. Not too much but a few things that will make my journey more pleasurable…like a new netbook computer. Yes, I splurged and bought one online and I’m waiting for it to arrive. It’s a small, 10″ lightweight computer. I’ll be able to carry it with me to check email,  surf the internet and keep up-to-date with the big world.

I decided to stay in Bisbee for Thanksgiving. It was a good decision. I needed the time to get things done,  spread out my packing and have time to myself to ‘let it be’.

I leave this coming Friday morning. My friends Mark and Jack are driving me to the airport in Tucson. I am so grateful that they are sending me off on my new journey. They are good friends and I will miss them. They are leaving soon on their own new journey…to Fiji where they are moving in 2010.

My son, Max, is coming to Bisbee next week on Tuesday to visit for 2 days. I am going to keep him to myself so…those of you who know me…you may not get to meet him. I will be gone for 6 months and I want a couple of quality days with him before I leave.

I will soon be packed up with everything else in my storage unit including my Subaru Outback. I imagine checking my bag and strolling to get on the plane to Quito, Ecuador.

We all need to trust our own way of belonging in the world and to not let other people and the world change us. I know I belong on this journey, it has its own mystery, I know it is my path.

Bisbee-ites tend to LOVE Halloween. I was invited to go out with Mark and Jack and friends for the evening. Jack decided to stay home…understandable after traveling for two weeks on business. He deserved a night at home.

We walked to the old Panterra Gallery in ‘The Gulch’ around 7 pm. Chuck was having a surprise birthday party for his partner Maralyce and she was expected at 7:30 pm. There was a band playing which included Chuck’s son, Dylan. I was dressed as a cowgirl with a big black cowboy hat and a black mask that Jack gave me.

Kate and Nancy (photo by Karen Saltus)

There were lots of people at the party including some of my friends.

June, Lizann and Mark

Karen "The Killer Bee" and Glenn "The Miner"

The band played and Maralyce made her appearance.

The band at Maralyce's surprise birthday party.

Maralyce dancing with a friend

Maralyce was indeed surprised.

Maralyce surprised!!!

After the party we walked to the Central School parking lot where there was a great band playing. The band was from Tucson and played a mix of Latin and jazz fusion music.

The band from Tucson...name unknown

Margie and Keith dancing in the parking lot at Central School

Mark drank tequila from Darrell’s bottle.

Mark drinking tequila as Darrell 'The Devil" looks on.

And a good time was had by all!!!

A wonderful Bisbee costume.

Including the giant pumpkin outside Sulley’s.

The giant pumpkin outside Sulley's.

I made my flight reservations. I am leaving on Friday, December 4 for Quito, Ecuador. I’ll fly out of Tucson to Houston and then on to Quito where I will be staying with my friend, Sue, at her home in the old district of Quito high in the Andes. My return date is May 29. Six months in South America. Wow. I leave in one month.

I moved into a friend’s house out in the Warren district of Bisbee. I am renting a room in her lovely home. It is quiet and I feel safe and secure here. Margie gives me my space and we seem to be getting along well.

I wanted to visit Max, my son, before I leave so I am flying to San Francisco on November 13 for a few days visit. I fly back to Tucson on Monday November 16. A short trip but I didn’t want to leave for six months without seeing him. I hope I get to see Sarah, his girlfriend, too. Hi Sarah!

My friends Jack and Mark invited me to go with them and my roommate, Margie, to Colorado for Thanksgiving. We will drive up through New Mexico spending the night in the town Truth or Consequences. We’re staying at Riverbend, a motel with hot spring tubs on the river. Then up through Sante Fe and Taos to southern Colorado to the town of Alamosa where a friend of Jack’s, Phil, and his girlfriend live. We’ll stay with them for four days. I am looking forward to spending time in the mountains, going hiking and eating Phil’s cooking which is supposed to be very good.

On the way back we’re stopping in New Mexico to visit Georgia O’Keefe’s house at Abiquiu which I’ve wanted to do for a long time. We’ll be gone for 8 days. When we return I’ll have two days to get everything ready to leave for Quito including putting my car in my storage unit out in the San Jose area of Bisbee.

Going forth. I am excited at the adventure ahead. But also a bit reluctant to leave the safety and security of my home and friends here in Bisbee. But that is always how it is. The comings and goings are stressful. But I must go back to that great continent. I will have a few months of fun with Sue and get to experience Ecuador again and get to know that country better. Then on to Argentina and Bolivia. I will keep you posted. Thanks to all that read these posts. I write them primarily for myself but it is fun to know that you share my life a bit. Cheers!

A friend of mine (thank you Mary Ellen) sent me this poem. It speaks to me of my own journey and reminds me to be true to myself.

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do –
determined to save
the only life you could save.

- Mary Oliver

It took some doing for me to make my decision to return to South America. When I contemplated returning old fears and messages reared their ugly heads. I had to tell them to go far away and do what I wanted. Interesting how old messages rule our lives sometimes. My last post was like a declaration of independence. I needed to proclaim my independence from the old rules and my new sovereignty. Have any of you had to do that?

I am going to go to Quito, Ecuador and stay with an American friend who I met there last spring. I am going to rent a room in her home which is a 4th floor walkup in the Old Town of Quito. That will get me in shape! Sue came to Quito over 20 years ago to teach Spanish and she is going to help me improve my Spanish while I am staying there. She says she’s an excellent teacher and I hope she will make it easy for me. Speaking Spanish in South America opens up so many opportunities and expands any experience. It also makes traveling safer for a single woman.

I am planning to stay in Quito and Ecuador for about 3 months. I’ll do some touring to areas I missed last time. Then I’ll head south to Bolivia and Argentina for a few more months. I am hoping to stay 6 months and come back speaking Spanish!

I will update this blog as I venture forth. I still need to make my plane reservations. That will cement the deal. I am excited and happy with my decision.

I have lots to do in the next weeks but I enjoy planning and researching a trip. I will be returning to a city and country I know. I look forward to Quito, Mindo, staying at the beach, visiting Otavalo and staying at a farm outside Quito. Sue goes to the farm most weekends to garden, meditate and make tempeh. I don’t know anything more about it except that she said there’s a spot for me there. I imagine I’ll do some work and enjoy being in the country…it’s difficult for me to be in a city for too long.

Cheers!

Yes, a leap of independence. A leap of faith. Leaping out of the box. Into the unknown.

I am going back to South America. For me it is a big leap of faith, jumping off the cliff.

I don’t understand it all but it is something I need to do. For myself, for my life.

It feels scary but I’m not going to let that get in my way. It’s something that, if I don’t do it, I will regret it.

So I will leave the safety and security of my home in Bisbee, my friends in Bisbee, my life in Bisbee. To find the safety and security within myself. To become a stronger person. To get to know myself better. To explore. To learn. To deepen and widen. To be more of who I am and to create further my own life as a sovereign person.

I leave this wonderful home I have been house sitting since July. Comings and goings are never easy. But I go forth…straight on to my destiny. It is a choice, a personal decision.

I’ve had a mouse in my house for a couple of weeks now. I’ve tried different methods but this mouse didn’t leave my house (alive or dead). So which method below do you think was the successful one?

Conventional Mousetrap

Catch and Release Mousetrap

Natural Mousetrap

OK. Don’t look at the answer!

If you guessed the kitty cat…you’re right! I let Rachel into my house and within 5 minutes she was strolling to the door with her head high and a mouse in her mouth. For those who don’t kill creatures in their houses, please don’t get upset with me. I believe it’s all part of the natural cycle and process of life. Cats have been killing and eating mice for thousands of years before we started feeding them out of cans and bags of dry food. Without mice there wouldn’t be any cats.

Anyway, I’m glad the mouse is gone. Thank you Rachel, the cat.

It’s interesting to note that friends come into my life in many different ways and times. Some for a few minutes, days or weeks. Some for many months and years. Some for a lifetime. Friends are our angels, our reminders, our teachers, our loves, our best and closest human beings to who we are.

Sometimes they leave and sometimes we leave them. Sometimes they surprise us and arrive unexpectedly, sometimes they come slowly and timidly into our lives. Always appreciated. Always accepted.

Tonight I am reminded of friendship. I hope I am a good friend to my friends. Love is not always easy. Some friends are easily close, some are distant but understood. But always there is a connection, a reminder of joy, trust and closeness.

I believe we are all here to transform ourselves to the best we can be. We grow and stumble and make our way to ‘our’ bliss whatever it is for us. We give and we receive. We are blessed with friends of grace and friends of effort. We are never alone.

Last night there was a birthday celebration at the La Reforma restaurant in Aqua Prieta, Mexico. Jane, Mark and Jack invited me to a ’surprise’ dinner. We drove from Bisbee to Douglas (on the U.S. side of the border), parked our car and walked across the border crossing to the Mexico side where we took a taxi to La Reforma.

La Reforma is a beautiful and large Mexican restaurant in Aqua Prieta known for its good food. When we arrived around 8 pm the place was empty except for a small Mexican party of 8 or 10 people. We selected a small table in the middle of the restaurant near a huge fireplace with three large baseball trophies sitting on the mantle.

We ordered margaritas and guacamole. The hot sauce, chips and guacamole were delicious and went well (of course) with the margaritas. Jane gave me a card and two small presents which I opened immediately. The animal on the front of the card looks somewhat like a fat rabbit but with small feet (it can’t be a rabbit!). What is it? Well you decide. I thought it might be a ground hog.

Jane's Card

We ordered our entrees and we talked about Fiji while we waited. Mark and Jack have decided to move to Fiji soon and they’ve put their beautiful house on the market. I will miss them! Jane and I will just have to go visit them. I hope they don’t mind if we stay too long!

Jane, Mark and margarita time!

My fish arrived covered in a very hot red sauce. The sauce was delicious but hot, spicy hot. Jack and Mark both had steak dishes and Jane had a delicious looking shrimp dish served in a lava rock container.

Because it was my birthday the waiter made us an interesting roasted vegetable salsa and, at the end of the meal, brought me a slice of raspberry chocolate cake which we all enjoyed. We passed on the flan because the waiter said it had been sitting outside and was no good!

Up close at La Reforma

My friend Jack

The owner of La Reforma was shot and killed in the restaurant last year and it was closed for some time. I think the food and the cheer of the place has suffered. But we had a great time!

We asked to be taken back to the border crossing in the restaurant’s van. In the past the van would pick up visitors from the U.S. at the border crossing but it wasn’t there this time. The waiter said that they would drive us back. So it was a BIG surprise when we walked out of the restaurant to see a small VW bug (old style) waiting for us at the curb. We were two big men and two small women but we managed to squeeze into the bug and not freak out too much by the driver’s fast driving.

Two big men, two small women and a VW bug driver

The La Reforma shuttle bug driving away

We made it back in one piece to the border crossing and walked into the crossing room. Jane, Mark and I were given passage with no problems but Jack was asked to wait. He has a British passport, travels extensively and was born in Kenya (actually Zanzibar which doesn’t exist any more). He was released after about 15 minutes. Apparently this is a not uncommon occurrence for Jack.

They dropped me off at my car in downtown Bisbee and before I departed I received a wonderful card and a bottle of good wine from Mark and Jack. Kisses and hugs from all and I was back in my car driving back to my house in Brewery Gulch. What a wonderful evening and I will remember it for a long time!